Meet Harley Quinn, our shelter dog who came home with us yesterday! We are new parents but figure there is not too much to owning a dog.
Operating our new wire crate proved a bit more difficult, kinda like completing a 100 5000 piece puzzle. But after just 5 hours we finally got the thing standing, examined the rudimentary locking system, and questioned the necessity of the dual door system- a front door for easy entry and egress, and a side door for... emergencies? Totally silly detail.
So anyway, in that it was New Year's Eve, the family dressed up (read: got out of our sweat pants) and decided to briefly hit the town. Harley knew we were up to no good, so she hopped up onto the couch and pretended her legs were stuck in the sit position. We kindly asked her to move into the safety of her small habitat whereby she politely declined. As any owner would rightly do, I then firmly commanded her obedience, to which she silently but resolutely explained the current affliction of her hind legs. So we dragged her into her cage (her term, not ours), and filled it with all the high quality accoutrements characteristic of any 4 star establishment: an alligator, an alligator, a bone, a bone, and a purple elephant. We even left Alexa on playing "comfort music" to ensure Harley's peaceful transition to solitary confinement. Despite her adequate provisions, Harley protested our departure with the tender whimpers of a forlorn yet vengeful super hero villain.
We enjoyed our time away, but the youngest started to produce tears; we realized that Harley might not be particularly comfortable, despite the righteous accommodations, home alone in her new environment. It had already been 3 conflicted hours, and what kind of top of the food chain, evolutionarily elite human leaves their dog all alone for more than 3 hours on New Years Eve? So we said our Irish goodbyes and turned back for the territory.
As we entered minutes before 10pm, Harley took the time to greet us at the door. What a beautifully kind thing for our new dog to do! Someone was finally glad to see me! At which point I also produced the following thought: DAMN IT, SHE GREETED US AT THE DOOR; I PADLOCKED HER IN A CAGE PRECISELY TO AVOID THIS OUTCOME- HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? OMG, THE EMERGENCY EXIT.
Decidedly calm and unflustered, we quickly perused the home to see what benign mischief had come of Harley's "get to know my entire home" time. Understanding that she was strictly forbidden from going upstairs, she used her unfettered access to claim this restricted area as her own- so as to avoid any future confusion. She even impressed us with her regularity, squeezing out her 3rd BM of the day!
Mom and Dad spent the next 20 minutes doing a scratch and sniff of the flooring system and completing a thorough bleaching of any near-stain or shadow found in the rug. Then we retired downstairs to our bedroom for some much needed rest and relaxation. What a day it had been! Sure, bringing a new dog home had put us behind on our chores, but nothing that couldn't wait until tomorrow. Yet Harley had one more gift to give.
As I entered the bedroom I noticed that the iron was on the floor. How cute! Harley had knocked over the iron during her liberty walk. Unfortunately for us, that was not her only idea... Harley had also thoughtfully turned on, unwrinkled our hardwood floor, and turned off again, the iron!
So Harley Quinn she came to us, and Harley Quinn she will stay. Yes, we are only marginally qualified to care for another living entity. But no, we are not sad we took in our adventurous spirit, Harley. And she has already left her mark (and very thankfully, without burning down the house)!
